Tending to Trauma in Challenging Times.
By Lisa Wold – Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
It’s been a hard year. A global pandemic, racial unrest, raging forest fires, lockdowns, quarantines, a highly contentious election, and a complete transformation of the ways in which we engage socially with one another; these are just a few of the forces that have shaped our year. We have all been exposed on some level, to trauma.
Some traumas like the death of a loved one, the murder of someone made in the image of God, the destruction of a home to a forest fire, are obvious. But others, like having a loved one in the hospital and being unable to see them, or watching your business go under, or going in to work and being exposed to the trauma of others, or watching the cracks in your marriage grow as you spend more time together, can hide just below the surface, unseen. Both types of trauma matter. Both deserve to be tended to. As the year winds down and we begin to look expectantly at 2021 the question becomes how do we deal with this trauma. How do we keep it from shaping our view of God, of ourselves, of others?
Let’s start by defining our terms.
Trauma is the persistent negative effects of experiencing extremely stressful events. Effects like increased anxiety, symptoms of depression, or a desire to avoid reminders of the event. Effects like avoiding friends and family, feeling distant in your relationship with God and questioning your beliefs about the world. Trauma producing events are events in which our survival feels in question. They typically evoke feelings of fear, helplessness, and danger. We didn’t see them coming so we don’t feel prepared when they occur. Consequently, they overwhelm our abilities to cope.
Take a moment and think about your experiences over the past year. Were there moments in which you felt a sense of fear, of helplessness, of impending danger? What triggered those feelings for you? How have those experiences shaped your view of yourself? The world around you? God? You may want to forget those moments, or try to push past the feelings they evoke. But if you don’t process them, they can start to shape you in unexpected ways.
Here are some signs that may be impacted by trauma:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Nightmares
- A desire to avoid people, places, or things connected with a painful memory
- Minimizing (both your pain and/or the painful experiences of others)
- Exhaustion
- Feeling helpless or hopeless
- Hypervigilance (always on alert for danger)
- Flashbacks (feeling as if the event is happening again right in this very moment)
- Cynicism
If you recognize yourself in this description of trauma, know that what you are feeling makes sense. You are having very normal reactions to abnormal events. Your symptoms aren’t a sign of personal deficiency. They are acknowledgments that all is not right in our world.
Trauma symptoms are normal reactions to abnormal events. Don’t forget that.
So how can we heal from trauma?
- Acknowledge it. Minimizing what you have experienced, or pretending it isn’t there doesn’t help. Give yourself permission to identify and sit with the things that have been hard this year.
- Share it with a trusted person. Whether you process through writing, or speaking, or art, find a way to express what you have experienced with someone you trust. The shame and isolation that often accompanies trauma cannot survive when met with empathy.
- Avoid numbing out or turning to addictions to cope. Alcohol, food, Netflix binging, online shopping, and engaging in excessive video gaming can all be ways to alter mood but they won’t actually help you to move forward or heal.
- Prioritize getting good sleep. This will help your body and brain to do the work it needs to recover.
- Exercise. Our body gets flooded with chemicals during times of stress. Exercise helps to flush those chemicals out through our sweat. Additionally, exercise provides us with feel good chemicals that can help our body calm down.
- Reach out for help. If you don’t have safe spaces to process your experiences or you are noticing that your symptoms are impacting your ability to function don’t be afraid to seek out additional support.
This year has been hard. Your hardships, your grief, the challenges you faced this year…they all matter. So give yourself the space to tend to your trauma. Allow God to meet you in your grief.
And remember, a new year is coming.
Lisa Wold LPCC – Lisa is a Licensed counselor serving the community at Bethel University in St. Paul, Minnesota and is member of Mill City Church in Minneapolis.
By Lisa Wold – Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
It’s been a hard year. A global pandemic, racial unrest, raging forest fires, lockdowns, quarantines, a highly contentious election, and a complete transformation of the ways in which we engage socially with one another; these are just a few of the forces that have shaped our year. We have all been exposed on some level, to trauma.
Some traumas like the death of a loved one, the murder of someone made in the image of God, the destruction of a home to a forest fire, are obvious. But others, like having a loved one in the hospital and being unable to see them, or watching your business go under, or going in to work and being exposed to the trauma of others, or watching the cracks in your marriage grow as you spend more time together, can hide just below the surface, unseen. Both types of trauma matter. Both deserve to be tended to. As the year winds down and we begin to look expectantly at 2021 the question becomes how do we deal with this trauma. How do we keep it from shaping our view of God, of ourselves, of others?
Let’s start by defining our terms.
Trauma is the persistent negative effects of experiencing extremely stressful events. Effects like increased anxiety, symptoms of depression, or a desire to avoid reminders of the event. Effects like avoiding friends and family, feeling distant in your relationship with God and questioning your beliefs about the world. Trauma producing events are events in which our survival feels in question. They typically evoke feelings of fear, helplessness, and danger. We didn’t see them coming so we don’t feel prepared when they occur. Consequently, they overwhelm our abilities to cope.
Take a moment and think about your experiences over the past year. Were there moments in which you felt a sense of fear, of helplessness, of impending danger? What triggered those feelings for you? How have those experiences shaped your view of yourself? The world around you? God? You may want to forget those moments, or try to push past the feelings they evoke. But if you don’t process them, they can start to shape you in unexpected ways.
Here are some signs that may be impacted by trauma:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Nightmares
- A desire to avoid people, places, or things connected with a painful memory
- Minimizing (both your pain and/or the painful experiences of others)
- Exhaustion
- Feeling helpless or hopeless
- Hypervigilance (always on alert for danger)
- Flashbacks (feeling as if the event is happening again right in this very moment)
- Cynicism
If you recognize yourself in this description of trauma, know that what you are feeling makes sense. You are having very normal reactions to abnormal events. Your symptoms aren’t a sign of personal deficiency. They are acknowledgments that all is not right in our world.
Trauma symptoms are normal reactions to abnormal events. Don’t forget that.
So how can we heal from trauma?
- Acknowledge it. Minimizing what you have experienced, or pretending it isn’t there doesn’t help. Give yourself permission to identify and sit with the things that have been hard this year.
- Share it with a trusted person. Whether you process through writing, or speaking, or art, find a way to express what you have experienced with someone you trust. The shame and isolation that often accompanies trauma cannot survive when met with empathy.
- Avoid numbing out or turning to addictions to cope. Alcohol, food, Netflix binging, online shopping, and engaging in excessive video gaming can all be ways to alter mood but they won’t actually help you to move forward or heal.
- Prioritize getting good sleep. This will help your body and brain to do the work it needs to recover.
- Exercise. Our body gets flooded with chemicals during times of stress. Exercise helps to flush those chemicals out through our sweat. Additionally, exercise provides us with feel good chemicals that can help our body calm down.
- Reach out for help. If you don’t have safe spaces to process your experiences or you are noticing that your symptoms are impacting your ability to function don’t be afraid to seek out additional support.
This year has been hard. Your hardships, your grief, the challenges you faced this year…they all matter. So give yourself the space to tend to your trauma. Allow God to meet you in your grief.
And remember, a new year is coming.
Lisa Wold LPCC – Lisa is a Licensed counselor serving the community at Bethel University in St. Paul, Minnesota and is member of Mill City Church in Minneapolis.