Being a woman who leads… let me tell you why it’s worth it.
Being a woman who leads… let me tell you why it’s worth it.
I sat on the stairs leading up to the stage last Sunday holding my adorable nephew on my lap. I had just finished preaching the sermon for the second Sunday of Lent.
As I bounced Amos on my lap, little Olivia came up to me. She is four and one of the “Mini Mills” of Mill City Church, as we affectionately refer to them.
At first I thought she wanted to dote on how cute Amos was, after all, he has a permanent smile on his face.
However, I soon realized that Olivia was actually coming up to the stage with an important announcement:
“I want to be a church speaker when I grow up” she stated with confidence.
I was so thrilled that all I could say was, “Wow!”
“You are going to have to show me the ropes, and how everything works.” She said with an ever-so-slight struggle with pronouncing the letter R that made the statement almost too cute to handle.
“How about we start with one lesson a week, then by the time you’re my age do you think you’ll be ready?” I asked.
She nodded with wide eyes.
We practiced her first lesson, which was to stand as tall as possible in the center of the stage because shorter gals like us will need the leverage.
Her mom came to to find her on her tippy toes at center stage and stated she wasn’t at all shocked to hear that Olivia wanted to be a “church speaker”.
We then made a plan for her to come early the next time I was preaching so she could help me test out the mic – to which she seemed elated.
So ladies who lead… let me tell you why it’s worth it:
Olivia.
And the fact that she will never doubt that women can be lead pastors and preachers because she won’t have a memory where that wasn’t her experience.
Let me tell you why it’s worth feeling like being one of the few lone women leading in your organization…
It’s worth it because of the women and girls who see you live out your calling and gifts and realize for the first time that they could aspire to more than they had originally dreamed possible.
Let me tell you why it’s worth the confrontations, the blatant statements that most of us have heard such as: “you’re in a man’s role” or “the Bible says you should be quiet” or “women are too emotional for leadership”…
It’s worth it for how deeply both genders can be shaped by mentorship from women in addition to men. So they can embrace the perspectives of both genders God created to co-lead together.
Let me tell you why it’s worth the loneliness that comes from a sense of isolation when you are often the only woman in the room of leaders at a training or as you step into the board room…
It’s worth it because nothing communicates louder than the steps you take into those spaces that anyone who is qualified belongs in these rooms, no matter their gender, background, age or ethnicity.
Let me tell you why it’s worth it to drop the defensiveness and put on humble confidence when it takes so much determination to do so…
It’s worth it because if someone hadn’t gone before us and done so, none of us would be where we are today.
That same Sunday that Olivia had her first preaching lesson, I know of at least one person who walked out of the service because they don’t believe women should be preachers.
It’s worth it so that won’t have to be Olivia’s experience.
———-
Join us for a weekend designed for women of influence (which is all of you) STAND: Women’s Equipping Weekend // March 27-28th
Being a woman who leads… let me tell you why it’s worth it.
I sat on the stairs leading up to the stage last Sunday holding my adorable nephew on my lap. I had just finished preaching the sermon for the second Sunday of Lent.
As I bounced Amos on my lap, little Olivia came up to me. She is four and one of the “Mini Mills” of Mill City Church, as we affectionately refer to them.
At first I thought she wanted to dote on how cute Amos was, after all, he has a permanent smile on his face.
However, I soon realized that Olivia was actually coming up to the stage with an important announcement:
“I want to be a church speaker when I grow up” she stated with confidence.
I was so thrilled that all I could say was, “Wow!”
“You are going to have to show me the ropes, and how everything works.” She said with an ever-so-slight struggle with pronouncing the letter R that made the statement almost too cute to handle.
“How about we start with one lesson a week, then by the time you’re my age do you think you’ll be ready?” I asked.
She nodded with wide eyes.
We practiced her first lesson, which was to stand as tall as possible in the center of the stage because shorter gals like us will need the leverage.
Her mom came to to find her on her tippy toes at center stage and stated she wasn’t at all shocked to hear that Olivia wanted to be a “church speaker”.
We then made a plan for her to come early the next time I was preaching so she could help me test out the mic – to which she seemed elated.
So ladies who lead… let me tell you why it’s worth it:
Olivia.
And the fact that she will never doubt that women can be lead pastors and preachers because she won’t have a memory where that wasn’t her experience.
Let me tell you why it’s worth feeling like being one of the few lone women leading in your organization…
It’s worth it because of the women and girls who see you live out your calling and gifts and realize for the first time that they could aspire to more than they had originally dreamed possible.
Let me tell you why it’s worth the confrontations, the blatant statements that most of us have heard such as: “you’re in a man’s role” or “the Bible says you should be quiet” or “women are too emotional for leadership”…
It’s worth it for how deeply both genders can be shaped by mentorship from women in addition to men. So they can embrace the perspectives of both genders God created to co-lead together.
Let me tell you why it’s worth the loneliness that comes from a sense of isolation when you are often the only woman in the room of leaders at a training or as you step into the board room…
It’s worth it because nothing communicates louder than the steps you take into those spaces that anyone who is qualified belongs in these rooms, no matter their gender, background, age or ethnicity.
Let me tell you why it’s worth it to drop the defensiveness and put on humble confidence when it takes so much determination to do so…
It’s worth it because if someone hadn’t gone before us and done so, none of us would be where we are today.
That same Sunday that Olivia had her first preaching lesson, I know of at least one person who walked out of the service because they don’t believe women should be preachers.
It’s worth it so that won’t have to be Olivia’s experience.
———-
Join us for a weekend designed for women of influence (which is all of you) STAND: Women’s Equipping Weekend // March 27-28th
Stephanie, thanks for leading in a way that can be respected by both genders. You are a good “church speaker”!
You have been a great influence in my family!
Thanks for these good words!
I just sat for my Ordination Council two days ago and was approved to move forward with Ordination – and ever since then the enemy has been plaguing me with extra doubts and feelings of worthlessness. I needed to hear these words of encouragement and be reminded of some of the why-I-am-doing-this’s…
So thanks, from the bottom of my heart.
Pastor (soon to be Rev) Susan 🙂
Wow, thanks for your encouragement and words of affirmation. It feels good to know they are others who understand our struggles. As a Black Latino Clergy Woman I truly appreciate you taking your time to share with us with so much respect.
Mandy, who commented above, led me to this blog. I, too, am a Susan, and I, too, will have ordination council very soon. I must tell you that I am a “senior citizen” of 63 who will hopefully finally be ordained. When I was growing up, the options for girls and women in ministry consisted of working in the nursery, teaching Sunday School, and serving on the kitchen committee! While I felt in my heart even as a child that God was calling me to pastoral ministry, it seemed like an impossibility. Even those closest to me didn’t believe women were fit for pastoral ministry. I am so grateful for the encouragement I have received from those who recognize that spiritual gifts are not given and used based on gender, but on the graciousness of God who in Christ has called us all to the priesthood of believers! I am grateful to those who have gone before me, and I trust that my five granddaughters will never have to choose between the call of God on their lives and the approval of man/woman. Blessings! Susan T.
Susan T – welcome to the Trailblazers Club! 🙂 I am so encouraged by your story – I would love to be a prayer warrior for your ordination council. Message me here if you have specific requests. Otherwise, I’ll be praying in general and let God take care of the specifics! Blessings on you!! Susan M 🙂
Thanks, Susan M!
My ordination council will be held April 17th from 9:30-11:30am. Please pray for clarity of thought and the ability to articulate accurately and Biblically what I believe. When I get anxious, I tend to babble:) I am also praying that among those who attend, there will be no outright antagonism toward me as a woman. I can deal with those who respectfully disagree with me, and can reply humbly to those comments, but I do not want to feel put on the defensive. Pray I can be diplomatic yet assertive (Matt 10:16)!
Thank you for committing to pray for me. We Susans need to stick together. LOL. Great to know you are in my prayer corner.
Blessings,
Susan T
Hi Susan T!
I am checking in – how did it go??
I ended up sitting for my council in March and getting ordained in June! It still seems strange, but I am realizing how very called I am to this pastoral thing. 🙂
I’d love to hear how things are going in ministry!
Rev. Susan M 🙂
Thank you for sharing this. I am a Children’s Ministry Director who also does the “church speaker” role regularly. Every time I share or lead from up front, I think of what it would have been like for me if I had seen a woman in that role when I was young. I loved reading your post, and also the comments and knowing that I am not alone in this journey that has had some big peaks and valleys.
This is so encouraging and I’m thankful you took the time to write this. Thank you for leading and preaching fearlessly. We need more people like you!
Yes yes yes yes!! Thank you!