Why I started going through the motions.

There was a time when I couldn’t really pray.

I mean, I hadn’t come to a place where I didn’t believe in God.

I hadn’t rejected Jesus.

But I was having a really hard time understanding why we do some of what we do as Jesus followers.

I was confused by the people around me who seemed so focused on morality and very little on truly living like Jesus.

It seemed like the way that a lot of people were living out their faith was legalistic.

They put “quiet time” on a pedestal as though it was what got you into heaven or something.

Anyone who knows me that I have a hard time being quiet for more than a couple minutes and it sounded like a “good quiet time” was at least 30 minutes.

I looked around and it seemed like everyone was just going through the motions.

I was determined not to be one of those people and so in many ways… I just stopped.

Stopped all the motions.

When it comes to other recovering evangelicals like me, I know my story isn’t rare.

However, something changed in my mid 20s.

I started “going through the motions” … on purpose.

Here is why:

1. I discovered that I don’t learn much when I cease to move.

I thought that stopping what I was doing… prayer, worship, church activities, reading scripture, etc. would help me to figure out some of the questions I had about God, faith and Christianity.

I will say that I learned some things from that time, but after a while I stopped learning what I was hoping to learn.

I realized that I had to DO something and begin to act my way into new ways of thinking.

I started small with the things that seemed the most life-giving and did them because I was choosing to, not because someone else was telling me to.

2. I discovered that life is full of the unknown and those motions and rhythms have saved my faith in God… as well as my faith in myself.

I’ve realized that life isn’t full of transitions… it is one big transition. Things are always changing.

The rhythms of connecting with God and my community are like an anchor that keeps me from being swept away in the storm of life.

Even when I’ve been mad at God… I had to face him every day.

When I have been in seasons of joy, I have time each day to be grateful.

When I have been in seasons that feel mundane, there is something comforting that God never changes as I try to connect each day.

3. I discovered that the motions put me in a posture of listening.

Full disclosure – it really does feel like just going through the motions many days.

I don’t often feel any emotional or intellectual connection to God as I read the daily Moravian texts.

As my boyfriend and I pray together on the phone each night, it’s not some sort of radical supernatural experience all the time.

But there are times when I feel like God’s voice is jumping off the page of the daily Psalm and speaking right to me.

There are times when our nightly prayers include ways we have seen God answer prayers.

There are times when it’s as though I feel God’s movement around me and I am in the ready position to respond.

4. I discovered that the motions give me courage.

Life is really hard, and very challenging. Have you noticed?

Some seasons, courage is needed to face each day.

We need courage to be vulnerable. We need courage to take the risks God puts before us.

If we are listening for God’s voice and looking for God to move, we will need to grow in our courage to respond.

Predictable patterns and rhythms in our life help us receive courage from God for whatever lies before us in life.

There are times when I am tempted to STOP going through the motions… but when I continue to live into the rhythms God has led me to in my life… breakthrough always comes.

Whenever there is a breakDOWN… my rhythms have usually already broken down.

So if you are wondering what God is saying and doing in your life… perhaps it’s time to start going through the motions.