When Strangers Become Friends

I came home on Father’s Day Sunday with a full heart. Having lost my dad 13 years ago this summer, I have a different approach to occasions like Father’s Day weekend. My heart was full this year because although I miss my dad, I also feel grateful for the 17 years I had with my wonderful father.

However, no matter how much gratitude I feel, Father’s Day will always be hard.

Some how I came home with the extra “Dad’s” root beer from our Sunday worship service, which seemed ironic until I saw my neighbor, who I’ll call Marcus, while I was walking up to my house.

I have introduced Marcus to you before here.

Long story short, Marcus is the owner of the home next to mine. His rental property was being used as an illegal drug operation until about a year ago. The drug house was busted (along with several others in the city) right about the time that Marcus was going through a difficult divorce.

Thus, he moved into his abandoned ex-grow house.

It wasn’t looking so good at first.

The drug dealers had trashed the house inside and out because they were so furious that they had been shut down.

There was trash everywhere and there were weeds growing waist high in the back yard.

Marcus has put in a lot of hard work on his house over this last year. Look at these before and after shots of his yard!

I came into my yard on Father’s Day with root beer bottles in hand and saw Marcus on the other side of our fence. I got the opportunity to wish him happy Father’s Day and offer him some appropriately named beverages. He shared with me later that he didn’t get to see his kids on Father’s Day and I could see the pain in his eyes.

Marcus was once a stranger that is now a friend.

It was meaningful for me to share a moment with him on Father’s Day, when it was a hard day for both of us.

Over the last few weeks on this blog we have talked about picking one practice this summer to help us grow in each of three areas of relationship in our lives. This post talked about ways to experiment in our “up” relationship with God. Then the next post explored ideas for growing in our “in” relationships with those who support us in our lives.

Finally, how can we step more fully into our “out” relationships with the people in the world God calls us to love? God puts these people in our lives as neighbors, co-workers and classmates. We find them living across the street, in the cubicle across the hall, or sitting next to us on the bleachers at our kid’s soccer games.

We’ll find them when we ask: Who has God put in our lives to love with His love?

Wherever these relationships begin, what is a next step we can take? This will look different for us depending on our personality types, but we can each grow from where we are now.

Let’s experiment in what it may look like in our lives to see strangers become friends. Will you choose one new practice with me this summer?

Here are come ideas to get us started:

• Park Night – Pick the park closest to your house and grab family or friends and picnic or BBQ in the park at the same time each week this summer. Bring extra food and invite people to eat with you. You’d be surprised how many people we take you up on it. Stay-at-home parents – you could do lunch this way once a week!
• Intentional Lunch – Consider how you can be intentional about “out” relationships in your work place. If you feel like there is peace or openness between you and a co-worker, be intentional about asking them to lunch and see if it can become a rhythm with one or a few others.
• Lawn Chairs – My friend’s Mike and Karissa realized that something as simple as putting chairs in their front yard instead of their backyard that is fenced in allows them to meet their neighbors in a much more natural way. Consider buying a couple inexpensive ones to place out front!
• Monthly Family “out” Nights – With your family or roommates, commit to one night a month where you intentionally invite your neighbors over or others who you feel God has called you to love into your home. Clearly this is easiest for the extroverts, but some of my brave introverted friends have realized that once a month is doable. Pick a reason to gather: Ice cream night, bon fire in the yard, project a movie out back, pie night where everyone brings their favorite. My house has found Chili Feeds and Pumpkin Carving, Cookie decorating and other themes bring in the neighbors as the fall and winter set in.
• DQ Run – After your kids t-ball game, invite other families to head to DQ so you can spend some more time with them. A DQ run is an appropriate invite after any event! Consider throwing it out there with people you are wanting to get to know a bit more.
• Kick Ball For a Cause – There are leagues starting up for all types of low level sports. Some of them even raise money for cancer research or other beneficial causes. Join in so you can spend some more fun but also intentional time with people you feel called to.
• National Night Out – On the first Tuesday of August every year there is an event all over the U.S. called “National Night Out”. Check out this site to learn more! This is a great event to attend for anyone who is more introverted because you can leave as soon as you reach your “people time limit”.
• Neighborhood Association – Consider joining your neighborhood association or another local groups in your area. Once again, you can come and go as you please and often these are smaller groups where you won’t need to meet dozens of new people, but just a few.
• Pick a Place – Many of us spend a good amount of time in coffee shops or other local establishments. Go to the same spot at the same time over the summer and see if there are people that God gives you an opportunity to connect with. This has been the case with me and quite a few people at my favorite coffee shop, Maeve’s.